blog or xanga?!

well, as some of you have seen, recently when i was in the middle of studying for an exam, I started a xanga. I don't know which one to write in now!! i've updated it a couple of times and i think i'm going to alternate between them (hehe...), or i could just copy and paste the posts and load them on both pages?! :D

yesterday i finished an exam and i came home and watched 3 movies straight!! one after another!! i looove movie marathons all by myself hehe. I watched "maid in manhattan", "while you sleeping" and "troy"... hehe, i really liked troy!!! i should have watched it sooner :D

I hope exams are going well for everyone (even for those who are already finished by the time they read this). It's really amazing to think that I'm almost done my 3rd year at Queens. When looking back, it just seems like yeterday when I was still at PCA in high school (especially doing tea runs, having spares in the afternoon and going to bayview village etc). God has brought me so far from then. He has taught me so many new things about my gifts, my passion and his love and mercy for me. Sometimes I fail to appreciate all the little things that God does in my life that determines the course of my life path. He is the potter and I am the clay. I know that He is still not finished with me yet and trust me, He won't be for a long time.

Something that I've been thinking about lately and have struggled to learn: to have faith in where God is going to take me in the next few years. I guess you could say that i'm always impatient in that I want to know at least some direction of my future (whether grad school, working, going overseas to teach after graduation etc). But when looking back on all the major milestones that I've gone through in my life, God has revealed himself with his own time and his own sense of humor. Yes, that's right, God has a sense of humor too. It's kind of funny becuase sometimes I will feel like i have been running around in circles with myself until God finally decides to stop me and show me His will (or maybe i just wasn't attentive to it in the beginning). Hehe, it remindes me of myself when I used to watch my hamster run on his "treadmill wheel thingie". I would sometimes put my finger to STOP the wheel and the hamster would be so clueless and in awe of why his treadmill stopped. I guess that's the same with God, he watches us constantly and can intervene anytime he wants :D

So anyway, I was talking to my mom about my impatience about wanting to see the future NOW. And she had a way of assuring me that not knowing exactly where God is going to take you is part of building a stronger relationship with God. It really hit me that I don't have to worry about marks to get into grad school, I don't have to worry about struggling to find a job after I graduate... it all doesn't matter! I should actually be excited that I'm not in control of my life, and completely TRUST that God will know where and when to reveal his plans for me.

whew, so that's my lesson of the month i guess :) hope exams are all good! (and if you have exams, STOP READING THIS AND GO STUDY NOW!!!!!)