Urbana 06

I remember contemplating whether to go to Urbana 3 years ago. My excuses were that it was too much money, i didn't think i would get much out of it and frankly I didn't want to waste my holidays away from all my friends and family. Well, God has a funny way of doing things and 3 years later, I found myself going to Urbana 2006. This was the best possible time for me to go to a mission's themed convention becuase I have more opportunities to think about long-term service and ways to serve God with my occupation.
I know i haven't blogged in a long time and for those of you whom I've vented or shared my frustrations/anxieties with, you'll know that in the past couple of months I've been struggling a lot in terms of big decisions for next year. I must admit that I'm a perfectionist who likes to plan ahead and know things ahead of time. I prepare for my future always in advance and like the feeling of being in control. In addition, I have always set out certain goals and dreams for myself to achieve (in terms of a career etc).
But after Urbana, I think God has really helped to confirm my fears and steer me in a different direction. I had always had plans to apply for grad schools for the coming year. It was my dream, my ambition and something that I was eagerly looking forward to. However, over the past couple of months, I have gotten signs from God, friends and family about different options. It really frustrated me that I was in a way "giving" up on things for God.
At Urbana, the theme was "Live a Life worthy of the Calling". God spoke to me in big and small ways to let me know that He has other plans for me, different than any I would have ever imagined. I don't know the details of where He is calling me exactly, but I have learned that the only response that I am able to give is "HERE I AM LORD". I was scared before about the uncertainties and lack of control that I had over my life, but now I understand more than ever that my life is in complete control. But instead it is controlled by God. I don't want to settle and make a name for myself. I don't want to say no to God. I don't want to wake up when I'm 60 and feel like I've accomplished absolutely NOTHING for the Kingdom of God. I want to say "Yes, Lord".

One thing that really touched me was when I went to a seminar on "Christians called to Journalism". The seminar speaker was a Christian journalist who wrote for magazines. He basically outlined the importance of maintaining integrity in your "secular" writing. I really was fascinated at the amount of influence journalism had on shaping public perspectives and opinions. I was overwhelemd to think of the many oppotunities to live out Christ in any occcupation, especially journalism. Then, a girl raised her hand and asked the speaker a question. She said that she was interested in fashion journalism and wondered how the fashion industry had any relevance to Christianity and whether it was a career path worthy of God's calling. Everyone in the room laughed and joked about her question. However, I thought that it was quite a legitmate question becuase I had thought of it before. The speaker thought for a brief second and answered the question in a simple way that spoke profoundly to me. He answered "There are many industries and professions in our society that are darkened and have no light of God within them. If you can find some way to look at the fashion industry as a place of ministry for God. To change the definition of beauty and elegance in our society, then that is a HUGE calling that is definitely worthy of God." It was then that I felt the passion in my heart to do something one day with my profession to please God. I want to have a profession where I will impact others and also shed God's light in the darkened corners of these industries. I don't know exactly where or when He will give me the opportunity, but that is what I will be praying for.

When looking back at the sermons and bible studies at Urbana, I have come away with one profound lesson. That is that God will use me wherever, whenever and however. All I have to do is say yes to Him.